How can you make divorce easier on your children?
Simply asking this question is a good place to start.
Parenthood is a constant effort to protect your children, and intentionally upsetting the status quo naturally goes against your instincts.
But if you are CERTAIN divorce is the answer, then most likely, in the long run, it will be right for your children, too.
On the other hand, if you’re wavering, then don’t act hastily. Take the time to become certain. Be honest and tell your spouse that you’re unhappy in your marriage, and be prepared to do the work required to give it your all one last time.
Then, if you do decide to go through with divorce, aspire to divorce well.
Here are the top 10 ways to ease the impact of divorce on your children:
- Know for certain divorce is the answer and that your marriage cannot be saved.
- Don’t EVER use your children as a pawn. Divorce can be a battle, but children are NOT weapons.
- Unify as co-parents. Have the best interests of the kids be your common ground and build on that.
- Be fair and reasonable. Remember, your children are counting on you to act like the adult.
- Stay in a resolution mindset.
- Be respectful of the other parent.
- Understand that no one wins at divorce. Everyone will experience loss.
- Consider the impact of your decisions, even the smallest ones – today, next year, and five or ten years from now.
- Appreciate that each individual will need to process this upheaval in his or her own way and at their own pace.
- Most important, make your children feel LOVED and SAFE.
I’ve said it over and over: divorce is hard. Don’t make it harder. If your priority is to do your best for your children, then you’re doing great. Keep in mind that we do our best when we are calm and prepared – and when we resist being impulsive.
Let’s talk and ease the impact of your divorce on your children.