My husband is making my life miserable; I just want this over. I even used the words “I am willing to throw in the towel”. Without Deb I would not have the strength or endurance to press on. Deb as provided me the encouragement and guidance to stay the course, to work with my attorney, and not give up. – M.G.
Deb, I really enjoy our talks. You’ve helped me grow stronger, to see around the conflict and adversity. You’ve helped me begin to carve out the calm, productive life I so wish for. I’m very glad you’re there for me. – P.B.
I know we only met a couple times, but your advice and recommendations have been very valuable to me since then. Thank you for offering and providing a very valuable service to clients like me. – M.R.
Deb- I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done for my cousin. She shared with me the terms of her divorce last night and is thrilled. She was headed down a very different path before you got involved. You are changing lives. Keep up the great work and thanks again. – T.R.
Deb is wise and has a great heart.
Deb helped me in two ways. First, she set an excellent example of how someone can survive divorce and become a stronger and happier person. Deb was open about her divorce and the hurdles that she had to overcome. She modeled a physical fit, mentally strong, and emotionally stable woman who was leading a healthy and happy new life. Her example motivated me as I wanted to achieve those things myself.
Second, Deb walked me the through the stages of the divorce negotiation process. She listened attentively. She supported me and identified possible hurdles and difficulties that I might encounter. Her advice served me well. Deb also helped me avoid some of the common mistakes that women make in the final stages of completing the divorce decree. – E.H.
I started working with Deb soon after my divorce. Though the legal part of the process was mostly over, I faced new and stressful challenges.
How could I best help my children through such an emotional time? Could I set boundaries when it came to my ex – and if so, what might they look like? Am I strong enough to find a new career, manage my new financial situation and basically build a whole new life?
Deb offered concrete ways for me to examine the demands on my time and energy. She helped me identify and prioritize what was important, encouraged me to stay focused and gave me the confidence to make difficult decisions. Deb helped me with so many of the ‘little’ things that could have become stumbling blocks along the way. She was instrumental in my quest to become a happier and more confident me. – A.G.H.
Taking the high road isn’t the first choice most of us make when we are under tremendous stress. Deb offered many strategies to help me work through the divorce process. One strategy was to resist the urge to use harsh and critical words with the person who has caused you and your children so much pain.
For example, with email, Deb encouraged me to write whatever message or response I wanted, but to not send it until I was able to edit out the anger or hurt. In the meantime, if I wanted to vent or to reason things out, I could do so with her or a trusted friend.
Deb was right. I was able to get my points across and be heard, and far less likely to get a highly charged response. Staying on the high road isn’t easy, but it does pay dividends down the line. Plus, it created a positive pattern of personal behavior – one that I continue to follow. – K.C.
Finding Deb was such a relief – someone I could talk to who wouldn’t judge me based on the fact that I was getting divorced or on my emotional state. I met Deb in the initial stages of my divorce while I was still paralyzed by my emotions and unsure of myself and the process ahead of me. I wish I had met her even earlier, before I had selected a lawyer.
Deb is a good listener. She was very patient, calming and discrete. She witnessed what was going on and knew what I steps I needed to take, but never pressured me to do something I didn’t want to or to act earlier than I was ready.
Deb was always there for me. I looked to Deb as a beacon of light. She is an example of someone who made it through the process and found a new life and was able to show me a way forward. My divorce is nearly over and the help Deb gave me continues to benefit me as I encounter each day with a new outlook on life and a very positive future. – M.M.
How do you deal with a spouse’s decision to get a divorce when you didn’t even know that your marriage was in question? For me, the first thing I had to do was look up the word “divorce” in the dictionary:
Divorce, noun: The action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage
The second thing I did was to call Debbie. Divorce is not clean and all on one line like the dictionary would lead you to think. “Dissolving” a long term marriage is like un-knitting a sweater and when you are done you just hope you can pick up the yarn and make a vest. Debbie uses her calm, knowledgeable manner to help you to take on the task at hand and learn how to respond to it. Let’s face it, you cannot control some things in life but you can always take control of how you respond to it.
Having Debbie as my coach was the best decision I made! – S.B