This year I did my very best to be positive about Christmas, post divorce. I worked hard to envision the Christmas that I hoped for, discerned what I had control over, and identified what I may have to accept. My mind was peaceful, excited and calm.
Everything was going great. I relished in my daughter’s enthusiasm. I accepted that very special people would not be with me.
Yet, by early afternoon, tension crept in, by late afternoon tears of frustration appeared. How had it all gone so far from my plan? Without realizing I allowed Christmas day to be driven by my perceptions of the communication of others. My fears and insecurities got the best of me and I had another tough Christmas on my hands.
Two days later, I understood these insecurities that led to me to misread important communications. With clarity I was able to request direct communication, ask to hear the intended message versus my interpretation. Turns out, I got in my own way of a successful Christmas.
Good news is that my vision was there, I did shake off most of the sorrows of Christmas past. I learned that I am still vulnerable to communications. But now I have the insight I need to be better prepared next year. Holidays are tough, but survivable!