What can I do to Help My Children Cope with Divorce?

Children struggle with divorce just as much as adults do – maybe more. Regardless of their ages or the stage of divorce you are in, here are eight ways you can help your kids deal with this difficult process.

  1. Remain civil with your ex-spouse, even when the children aren’t present.
  2. Keep in mind that a bad spouse can be a good parent.
  3. Don’t just avoid bad-mouthing the other parent. Find something about them to praise to your children. Even if you’re digging so deep it hurts.
  4. Make sure the children’s transitions between households are as as smooth as possible. Help them pack and remember to bring home specific items.
  5. Even if you can’t exercise control over the other parent’s household, you can offer consistency in your own home environment.
  6. Reserve judgment of new or unfamiliar situations until all the facts are in.
  7. Don’t ask your kids to spy or to keep secrets.
  8. Make every effort to “co-parent.” Put aside your differences and cooperate as a team.

If I were to boil down these suggestions into one piece of advice, it would be this: Show respect to the other parent. Plain and simple.

Remember: we chose not only to marry this person, but also to have children with them. Those choices may not have been the best choices, but we made them – and our children must live with those choices every day.


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